Thursday, October 16, 2008

Oh Guruji, ke mana kau pergi?

Malaysia Today at

Photo courtesy of Malaysia Today

Life would have been a lot safer for some people if Alexander Graham Bell had never invented that thing called the telephone. And if no one had come up with this modern day thing everyone calls the short messaging service (sms).

Najib and Shafee would agree.

Najib as good as admitted that the sms’s are for real when he said they were a private matter.
In that process he fucked the fix-it-if-the-price-is-right hotshot lawyer as well. Now this Shaf-ted lawyer does not know where to hide his face. He’s told those who are still prepared to be seen with him that he’s not going to answer any more calls from dungu Najib.

Najib doesn’t give a fuck about losing this overpriced shyster, though. No, he’s got other things to worry about.

Sure, Badawi has announced that come March next year, he’s going to hand over the prime minister’s job to Najib. But Najib’s boys have reported back to him that Badawi’s not finished with Najib yet. No, Badawi is not to be trusted. Najib’s boys have picked up a strong scent of Najib’s dirt that Badawi’s boys are unleashing, bit by bit, so that come March Najib will be history.

Actually, Badawi’s announcement that he would not run for president of UMNO in March and would hand over the prime minister’s job to Najib then shocked his inner circle of friends and business cronies, including Kali-M- Ular, Kee Yong Wee and Idris, all of whom had seen Badawi just days before and had persuaded Badawi to stay on and fight. Well, they thought they had persuaded Badawi.

Actually they had. And Badawi had said he would fight. But as has happened many times of late, every time Badawi meets up with Najib with the intention of telling Najib that he can dream about ever becoming prime minister, Badawi seems to chicken out. And people have begun to ask whether this is because Najib’s dirt on Badawi is more potent than the dirt that Badawi has on Najib.

Actually that potent thing that Najib had over Badawi was this fella called Guruji who has now gone AWOL.

No, Najib’s not worried that the Shaf-ted one won’t take his calls or that Badawi’s boys are going to let loose all the dirt they have on him. But Najib’s really shit-scared now because he needs Guruji to work his magic for him and neutralize all his enemies.

Who’s Guruji?

Remember just before polling day in Permatang Pauh, Malaysia Today broke the story of Najib being ‘Muslim by birth, Hindu in practise ’, complete with the statutory declaration (sd) of Thagarajoo a/l Thangavelu, detailing out how both Najib and Rosmah were faithfully partaking in Hindu rituals?

Guruji is the ‘Mr Ji’ mentioned in Thagarajoo’s sd.

Yes, Guruji, Najib’s faith healer, spiritual leader and voodoo master, is nowhere to be found. He’s been packed off back to Chennai in India and Najib’s only just found out that all the hexes, spells and charms that Guruji cast on Badawi and several others were broken when Guruji crossed over the Indian Ocean enroute to Chennai.

Turns out that Guruji’s own sifu in Chennai found out that his protégé was abusing the powers that sifu had imparted and had summoned Guruji back. Guruji left without a word to Najib or Rosmah.

Actually, Guruji couldn’t have said a word to Najib or Rosmah before leaving. He doesn’t speak a word of English or Malay and neither of them speak Tamil. And so they’ve always had to communicate with the aid of intermediaries.

One of those intermediaries is Kenneth Eswaran, who’s already mentioned of in Thagarajoo’s statutory declaration.

The other, a woman, is very close to Rosmah.

Actually, it was Rosmah who first sought the services of Guruji. She told close friends that her nasi kangkang was no longer having the desired effect on Najib and C4 is not always readily available. However, both Rosmah and Najib are now so obsessed with Guruji’s powers and will not make any major decisions without first consulting him and getting him to work his magic. Until Guruji disappeared, not a single day went by when Najib and Rosmah were not in contact with Guruji through the intermediaries.

Now how do you suppose they kept in constant contact with Guruji?

You guessed it! That thing called the telephone!

Lots and lots of phones! Lots and lots of calls! And lots and lots of sms’s!

Okay, here’s the deal. I’ll match each little bit of dirt on Najib that Badawi’s boys roll out with a little bit of detail of my own.

ALSO READ: Najib: Muslim by birth, Hindu by practice

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